Emotionally Focused Couple’s Therapy is an Evidence-Based approach to helping couple’s work through their most difficult and painful challenges.Most couples don’t understand why they can’t resolve their recurring conflicts together and as a result their relationships suffer unnecessarily. The good news is that with the right appoach, guidance, and support, building a stronger relationship can be SIMPLE and SUSTAINABLE.
We know you’ve searched for ‘relationship help’ on the web and now you have a question, request, or both. That’s why we’ve curated some of our most common relationship focuses below and want you to submit an inquiry on what calls to you most!
Ginna and Oliver had repetitive and unproductive fight that would go on for days for days. During that time they would throw the divorce word around. Through EFT they learned to take a time out, bring themselves out of the fight or flight response, and only then have the difficult conversations. It was never the topic of conversation was that difficult, because most of their fighting was over little things that would hurt one of their feelings, trigger a lot of pain, and cause them to say something hurtful that would send the other person into a spiral and cycle would just escalate. Once they were able to slow down, hear each other, and acknowledge each other’s pain, their fights melted away and they felt much closer and loving towards each other.
Brenda was withdrawn and never wanted to have sex. Kevin would try to be really supportive, trying to earn her love, but he would feel rejected and end up complaining about their unsatisfying sex life. The truth is that she didn’t want to have sex because she was hurt and angry because of his criticism and her needs being minimized. They each felt rejected and both of them wondered if it was worth staying together.
Once they learned to bring their conflict out in the open, express their feeling more directly to each other, understand what each other wanted and needed, and to take each other’s needs seriously, their anger subsided and they felt way more close and intimate. Their sex life improved as they felt more seen and appreciated by each other.
Susanna felt she could not trust or be intimate with her husband Reid. She suspected that he was cheating on her because she had been cheated on in the past and he was a musician and worked late. She would pick fights with him over this which he said pushed him further away. Reid said he was always controlled by his mother and hated always having to justify how he was spending his time. Underlying this conflict was the truth that she was anxious and had a hard time trusting and he was avoidant and didn’t like to be controlled. But once they began to see these patterns and understand their love maps, they began the process of re-writing them so they could be in a relationship together. Not only did their relationship improve, but over time she became more trusting and he started connecting with people in his life that he had shut out.